ASA ONLINE-ASA-MI Ballads

Army Security Agency
ONLINE
ASA-MI BALLADS

07-27-00

"The Ballad of the ASA"
by The Men of the ASA
Ft. Devens 1965-66 sung to the tune of
The Ballad of the Green Berets
by Barry Sadler

Drunken Soldiers, Always High Dropouts from old Sigma Phi Men who bullshit all the way, These are the men from the ASA
Plastic cans upon our ears, We've been cleared and we're not Queers One Hundred Men we'll test today, But only three make the ASA
Trained to go from bar to bar, That's the life thats best by far Men who drink will seldom fight, And the ASA drinks through the night
On a Mid, a Trick Chief waits, Four of his men are coming late Men who drink among the best Another drink, their last request
A teal blue scarf 'round my son's neck Makes my son a nervous wreck One hundred men re-upped today, But not a one from the ASA
Black is for the night we fear, Blue the water we don't go near. White is for the flag we fly, Yellow is the reason why.
Red is for the blood we've shed. As you see, there is no red! One hundred men reupped today. Not a one for the A-S-A!
Thanx to Dennis Buley and Bob Davis If That Dont Bring a Tear to your Eye ,and a Smile on your Lips You werent in the ASA!
"Ballad of the MI Soldier"

by anonymous Warrant Officer

Fighting Soldiers of MI,
Air-conditioned or we'll cry,
Radio to spread the news,
Ice-cold beer to chase the blues.

At Huachuca they learn their trade,
MI Soldiers have it made,
One Hundred men will test today,
and none will fail, it's the MI way.

A word processor is our mighty sword,
with this we'll fight, oh thank the Lord;
No M-16's within our ranks,
No hand grenades, no noisy tanks.

Time to take a PT Test,
Do it all while at their desk,
Push-ups, Sit-ups, 2 mile run,
Max it all with just their thumb.

MI men at fighting peak,
Six hours a day, four days a week,
Cocktail parties on Saturday,
You can keep your green beret.

No silver wings upon their chest,
They may not be America's best,
But see them when they're sixty-five,
Maybe drunk, but still alive.

Time to go out to the field,
No wimping out, their fate is sealed,
Poggy-bait; TVs to view,
Cammo clashes with MI Blue

Back at home a young wife waits,
Her MI man has met his fate,
In the field he was too bold,
Fell victim to a bad chest cold.

The fighting soldier's of MI
The rest of the Army just asks "Why?"
but within the ranks there is a cheer
as we voucher off our Redtrain Beer.

"Always out Front" is on their crest,
But that was penned just as a jest,
A better motto is offered here:
"We're in the Rear, with all the Gear."
Courtesy of Bruce Ford
The Napalm Song From Gary Morin
371^st RRC 1971

We shoot the young the sick and lame
We do our best to kill and maim
Because all the kills all count the same

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Flyin' low across the trees
Pilots doin' what they please
Droppin' frags on refugees

Napalm Sticks to Kids

It made us feel so good inside
When the strong men wept and the women cried
But what we really liked is the children fried

Napalm Sticks to Kids

See that family over there
Watch me get'm with a pair
Blood and guts just everywhere

Napalm Sticks to Kids

CIA with guns for hire
Montaignards around the fire
Napalm makes that fire higher

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Baby suckin' on a mother's tit
Gook down in a fifty pit
Dow Chemical doesn't give a shit

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Attack some kids when you go downtown
By throwin' some candy on the ground
Then grease 'm when they gather 'round

Napalm Sticks to Kids

A squad of Cong in the grass
But all the fightin's long since passed
Crispy Critters in a mass

Napalm Sticks to Kids

LOH's out to have a blast
Drop some peon kids enmasse
Send the remains to the Chief of Staff
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Oxcarts rollin' down the road
Peasants with a heavy load
They're all VC when the bombs explode

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Shootin' women's lotsa fun
Try killin' one that's pregnant, son
You'll get two for the price of one

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Flyin' low and feelin' mean
See that family by the stream
Drop some napalm and hear 'm scream

Napalm Sticks to Kids

See that gook down on his knees
Lost some fleshets in the breeze
Find his arms nailed to the trees

Napalm Sticks to Kids

NVA are all hardcore
Watch us nail 'm to the jungle floor
Throw our psyops out th' door

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Eighteen kids in a no fire zone
Books under arms and goin' home
Last in line goes home alone

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Chuck's in a sampan sittin' in th' stern
Thinks his boat'll never burn
Them fuckin' gooks'll never learn

Napalm Sticks to Kids

See th' little kids jump and shout
Dropped some napalm without a doubt
Watch 'm try and put it out

Napalm Sticks to Kids

I've been around the things I've seen
Some people who are mighty mean
Th' gooks ya kill, they make ya clean

Napalm Sticks to Kids

I've only seen it happen twice
But both times it was pretty nice
Shootin' peasants plantin' rice
Napalm Sticks to Kids

Napalm son is lots of fun
When dropped from a bomb or shot from a gun
It gets the gooks when they're on the run

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Some people say it's not so neat
To see gooks burnin' in th' street
But burnin' flesh smells mighty sweet

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Gooks in the open, makin' hay
But I can hear them gunships say
They'll be no ChuHois today

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Shoot civilians where they sit
Take some pictures as you split
All your life you'll remember it

Napalm Sticks to Kids

They'se great shape for the shape they'se in
But they'se no way that they can win
With napalm rollin' down their skin

Napalm Sticks to Kids

Gary Morin
former SP/4 GarMo ... --- ..- - .... . .- ... -
371st RR Co .- ... .. .- .-- .- .-. --. .- -- . ...
'70 Phuc Vinh '71 .--. .- .-. - .. -.-. .. .--. .- -. -
'71 Asmara '72 -.-. .- .. .-. -... --- .-. -. .
"Don't squat with your spurs on"

The `CHEAP CHARLIE` song
suggested by Mike Conagham
Uc-dai-loi, Cheap Charlie,
He no buy me Siagon tea,
Siagon tea costs many many P,
Uc-da-loi he Cheap Charlie.

Uc-dai-loi,Cheap Charlie,
He no give me MPC,
MPC costs many many P,
Uc-dai-loi he Cheap Charlie.

Uc-dai-loi, Cheap Charlie
He no go to bed with me,
Bed with me costs many many P
Uc-dai-loi he Cheap Charlie.

Uc-dai-loi, Cheap Charlie,
Make me give him one for free,
Mamma-san go crook at me,
Uc-dai-loi, he Cheap Charlie.

Uc-dai-loi, Cheap Charlie,
He give baby-san to me,
Baby-san costs many many P,
Uc-dai-loi, he Cheap Charlie.

Uc-dai-loi, Cheap Charlie,
He go home across the sea,
He leave baby-san with me,
Uc-dai-loi he Cheap Charlie

Explanation:

This song became famous in South Vietnam. There is not one Australian who served there that did not know it, most only remember the first verse today. It is sung to the tune of Nick, Nack, Paddywack Give The Dog A Bone (from the Inn of the Sixth Happiness). We list hereunder the translation of some of the words you may not understand.

Uc-dai-loi = Australian
Cheap Charlie = Stingy
Saigon Tea = Whiskey & Coke (it could be tea)
P = Piastre (local Currency)
MPC = Military Payment Certificate
Mamma-san = Madam ( as in whore house)

Phu Bai Cheer 1967-68
(Although it is difficult,if not impossible, to sing....this was one of the most repeated "ballads" at Phu Bai 1967-1968).

"Three dits,
four dits,
two dits,
a dah....
Phu Bai, Phu Bai,
Rah, Rah, Rah"
Courtesy of Tom Fornear (O5-H...Mids)Phu Bai 1967-68
"331st ASA Fight Song,
Karlsruhe, FRG, 1983"

FIGHTING SOLDIERS JUMP AND DIE
WE'RE THE MEN WHO SIT AND CRY
100 MEN RE-UP TODAY
NOT A ONE FROM THE ASA

BLACK IS FOR THE NIGHT WE FEAR
BLUE THE WATER WE DON'T GO NEAR
WHITE IS FOR THE FLAG WE FLY
YELLOW IS THE REASON WHY

RED IS FOR THE BLOOD WE SHED
AS YOU SEE THERE IS NO RED
100 MEN RAN BY TODAY
99 FROM THE ASA

DRUNKEN SOLDIERS ALWAYS HIGH
DROPOUTS FROM OLD SIGMA CHI
MEN WHO BULLSHIT ALL THE WAY
THESE ARE THE MEN OF THE ASA

PLASTIC CANS UPON OUR EARS
WE'VE BEEN CLEARED AND WE'RE NOT QUEERS
100 MEN WILL TEST TODAY
ONLY 3 MAKE THE ASA

TRAINED TO GO FROM BAR TO BAR
THAT'S THE BEST BY FAR
MEN WHO DRINK WILL SELDOM FIGHT
AND THE ASA DRINKS THROUGH THE NIGHT

ON A MID A TRICK CHIEF WAITS
FOR HIS MEN ARE COMING LATE
MEN WHO DRINK AMONG THE BEST
ANOTHER DRINK THEIR LAST REQUEST

AIRBORNE RANGERS FIGHT AND DIE
WE'RE THE MEN WHO WONDER WHY
100 MEN RE-UP TODAY
BUT NOT A ONE FROM THE ASA

"Yellow Ribbon"
In her hair she wore a yellow ribbon, She wore a yellow ribbon in the merry month of May, And when you ask her why the hell she wore it, She wore it for her boyfriend who was in the ASA
(refrain)
ASA, Sucks Sucks, ASA Sucks Sucks,

She wore it for her boyfriend who was in the ASA.

"Phu Bai Song" (Sung to the tune of "Sweet Betsy from Pike")
Phu Bai, oh Phu Bai, is a hell of a place The organization's a fucking disgrace with Captains and Majors and light Colonels too, with their thumbs up their asses and nothing to do.

They stand in the bays. They scream and they shout, talking of things they know nothing about. For all the good they do, they might as well be shoveling shit in the South China Sea.

I can't understand the way that they think you must have a haircut to shoot a dink the rules of engagement are just as bad too you can't kill the little fucker until he shoot you

The planes they are coming their guns are all jammed they're drunk and hung over and don't give a damn

they brag about pussy and talk about torque and every damn pilot thinks he's Sergeant York

My DEROS is coming my bags are all packed so good-bye old Phu Bai I'll never look back

Good-bye to rockets and bomb attacks too when I get back home I'll never miss you.

Oh, ring-a-ding ding ding ding Blow it out your ass! Better days are coming, bye and bye. BULLSHIT! You'll wonder where the yellow went when the napalm hits the Orient. HO....... CHI...... MINH.... Courtesy of Bob Davis & Ed "Kraut" Noltensmeyer
"Re-Up" (To the tune of "Col. Bogeys March..Bridge on the River Kwai")

Re-up, and dick your life away, Re-up, and join the ASA, Re-up, I'd rather throw up, Than be a lifer, a beggar, a puke. (ta-tuh-dum)

(eyes right as we pass by the superpukes) (ta-ta-dum-m-m-ta-dum-ta-dum-ta-dum) (ta-dum-ta-dum-dum-dum) (etc) eyes front for the reprise

Re-up, and throw your life away, Re-up, and join the ASA, Re-up, I'd rather throw up, Than be a lifer, a beggar, a puke. whistle now as we go into the sunset...

Courtesy of Terry Get
Re-Up I think every ASA unit had its own way of singing some of these songs. In Korea in 1967 A Co 508th had a verse:

Re-up just like the fool you are.
Re-up and buy a brand new car.
Re-up I'd rather throw-up
Than be a lifer, a Beggar, a Puke.

Re-up and get your VRB.
Re-up and buy an XKE.
Re-up I'm getting Fed-up
Of all you Lifers, beggars and Pukes.

Courtesy of Garry Hendricks
"Boo Boo Baby" To the tune of "?"
Boo, boo, baby. Look at me swagger. I know things that'll make you stagger. I'm 90% cloak and 10% dagger. Boo, boo, baby, I'm a spy.

(Courtesy of Don Helton and Dave Henderson..anybody got the rest?)
"We Like It Here" (To the tune of Tanenbaum??? (oh Christmas tree)

We like it here we like it here. Your Fuckin-A we like it here. We cut the grass we polish brass, We ain't got time to scratch our ass! And even though we got malaria, We still police the area We like it here we like it here Your Fuckin-A we like it here. --------------------------- A slightly bitter reposte to Motherhood. . . Jingle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass.
Take your Christmas cookies MOM and shove them up your ~~~~ --------------------------- Please help me find the proper end to this rhyme It's a long, long way from Cam Rahn bay, to the highlands of Plekiu. . . . . (Courtesy of Barry Winters)
LOVE THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL MAID
THE LOVE OF A STAUNCH TRUE MAN
THE LOVE OF A BABY UNAFRAID
HAS EXISTED SINCE TIME BEGAN.
BUT THE GREATEST LOVE, THE LOVE OF LOVES,
EVEN GREATER THAN THAT OF A MOTHER
IS THE TENDER, INFINATE, PASSIONATE LOVE
OF ONE DRUNKEN BUM FOR ANOTHER..... RESPECTFULLY, GERALD MACE 177TH U.S.A.S.A. This is Dean Haskins and you can find my name on rosters and helping out with the SEMA page. Mostly about Left Bank and Pathfinder. I came across this ditty from my old records while I was with the 177th USASA Opns Co A, of which I have never seen hide ner hair on the ASA pages. Damn fine outfit that had a couple DF sites in Korea. I was at Det 'A' on Pyong Yang Do. I digress, the copy I have of this "poetry" is from a pink copy of the old five copy nine ply paper that hasn't been mentioned either. Have fun with it, credit Gerald Mace. I don't remember him, musta been a ditty bopper. 'Charlie Is Listening'
"The ASA Beer Drinker's Prayer" Dan Wood

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
From keg or case,
Thy will be drunk,

At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.

And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
In the name of the beer, the bitter, and the lager,

Forever and ever, BARMEN.

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